30 December, 2011

One Last Thing.

I made it out alive, you guys. I write you now officially as a PhD student who has finished her first semester of classes. A PhD student thinking perhaps she should have cut back on the RHONJ episodes this summer and making her way through every drink in the Bartender's Black Book, and perhaps incorporated a touch more academic preparation. WHOOPS! It was fun while it lasted, and now the party is definitely over (but not really, as i am on Christmas break right now, soooo....yup, still time for a party).

This means obviously I am no longer a Pseudo Boricua.  :( It means I now live in a world of perpetual snow instead of sand. This ALSO means I have a new blog with a new name. Email me, or put YOUR email in the comments if you want the new address.

I wish this final post was more...final. But the fiesta continues, so I guess it really isn't goodbye after all. We are headed to the after party, guys! Come on! And yes, there will be Don Q there!!!*

*seriously, i found some in the grocery store in my new town! 

29 May, 2011

My Candle Burns at Both Ends

I think I realize why weekends were invented. And that is to say that I've realized no one should really be going out for more than 3 days in a row.That shit is exhausting. And now I have to cram the last 4 years into two suitcases and a carry on. :(  I can't say that I couldn't use a drink for this project.

I closed out my PRican bank account on Friday and I really almost started to cry. I mean, this is the real deal. I'M LEAVING PUERTO RICO IN 3 DAYSSSSSS!!!!

In happier news, this weekend (my last weekend!!!) shaped up to be something legendary. On Tuesday, I forgot that when drinking with a 230 pound male, you probably shouldn't try and go drink for drink with him... particularly if it involves tequila. Because if  you do, you will end up with double vision by 9pm and have to go home to pass out. WONDERFUL!

On Thursday morning I woke up with sand in my hair and in my ears and in my bed. Sometimes that happens. I also had a huge bruise on my knee from drunkenly chasing JC down the beach before I fell over....something. A piece of bamboo? A rock? A shell? Maybe. The air? More likely.

Friday. I ate and drank with some friends in the afternoon, and then went somewhere else and drank some more. And danced. Some more. Repeat until the wee hours of the AM. I also learned that Ron Barrilito gives my some wicked heartburn. So that's kinda a shame.

That being said, Saturday was not the greatest day for me, as I had the shakes and wanted the Earth to swallow me up and spit me back out when this hangover was over. Instead of going to Skapularo on Sat, which was an event I had been looking forward to for a week or so, I had probably my last date night w/ The Hwy before I leave and watched a movie and then read in bed and looked forward to waking up tomorrow (today!) and not feeling like a junkyard. I think it worked!

The only pic from that night appropriate for the Internet

Medalla: Where would i be w/o you? (at home in bed)
That happened.

"My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light."
 - Edna St. Vincent Millay

18 May, 2011


I haven't done this in a while!

Some good things that I am glad for:


  •  Having my mom and aunt visit made me realize just how frackin ready I am to get out of here. I was sad about it for awhile (see previous WG post), but now I am SO READY TO GO BACK TO THE MAINLAND!!!!!!!!!

  •  Neti pot. I know the concept of them is gross or whatever, but it's also awesome. And I think we all do a lot of awesome things that could be considered gross, like, all the time. And not all of them clear out your sinuses and make you feel like you are breathing for the first time!

  •  For lessons learned, and realizing it's okay to burn bridges that don't really lead anywhere, anyway - but also remembering :
          "Don't insult the alligator until you have crossed the river" - some proverb

08 May, 2011


I AM DEFENDING MY THESIS TOMORROW (Monday)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone -- fingers and all other appendages crossed at 3pm! Do it!

02 May, 2011

Some Royal Thoughts

"The Royal Wedding" was kinda hard to escape, no? Even living on an island.

Some things that struck me:

1.) Apparently the British tabloids called this woman "Waitey Katiey", because she waited "so long" for William to marry her. Um, yes, she did wait. And now she is a fucking princess/Dutchess/gets to be called Your Royal Highness/cannot by law work anymore for the rest of her life. I don't think she's allowed to cook or drive anymore, either. SHUCKS. Doesn't waiting just suck? Moral of the story: Waitey Katiey wins, Name Callers lose. Didn't we all learn this lesson in the 1st grade?

2.) I just love how "The Royal Wedding" took over the media, but just when you thought you couldn't hit the refresh button one more time w/o going bonkers waiting to find out where in the hell this damn Royal Honeymoon will be taking place, BAM! The 'ol U.S.of A. steps in and reminds us all who really runs the show by announcing bin Laden has been killed. Well well well, England. Hasn't this just been a swell weekend for all of us (really mostly "us" the US of A "us", though)? Sooowwry. Better luck trying to steal the spotlight next wedding!

3.) "Apparently" W & K wanted "everyone" to be able to celebrate with them (riiiight) and hoped that their wedding "will lift the spirits of a downtrodden nation" (puleeease), and one way of demonstrating this "accessibility" was by having her be the first "royal bride to travel to the palace in an automobile" (really? suggesting accessibility? or because the fucking thing is bulletproof??!) in like 40 years (seriously...?). WOW. How modern and accessible of them! And then they drove another really nice, modern and accessible car (an  Aston Martin) to their super elite reception party, while all the little people "accessed" their joy via their televisions or pathetic little street parties. They're just like us!

4.) Does anyone RSVP "no" to a royal wedding invite? Do they even bother with RSVP's? 

30 April, 2011

Weekly Graditude.

 It's Saturday night and I find myself with the night off of work and indulging in some Medallas...what better time to reflect on the week? Starting this should be easy because...

#1. Thank you, Cervecera India for brewing Medalla so deliciously and then putting it on sale for $11.98 this week at Econo (for a 24 pk of 7 oz. bottles). You are kinda making my week right now. 

2. Thank you to demonoid.me and all of those nerdo people who know how to use torrents, and the HWY for showing me how to use them. I've been on a music spree this week, and should particularity thank the kind lady or gentleman who put every album from Pitchfork's top 200 of the 2000's in one file. You are my friend and a genius.

3. Bex for showing me that "Hello" song. Ummmm it's *kinda* catchy....

4. for Wednesday night because it was fun and hilarious.

5.  Haircuts: I have bangs now. Bangs are nice because they suggest that you actually have a "hairstyle". 

6. Puerto Rico for not really giving a rats ass about the Royal Wedding. Yay!

7. My brother for drunkenly calling me, giving me his credit card info, and insisting we buy a ticket for my mom to come visit me as a Mother's Day gift. MY MOMMA IS COMING TO VISIT MEEEEEEE!!! (Pay ya later, bro....! Much later. )

8. Cold feet for making me realize I am SO gonna miss Puerto Rico!!!!! Now it's starting to feel real, and I am not so excited to be leaving, but going to do it anyway of course :(   I'm leaving June 1st :( :( :(  I am trying to cram as much awesomeness into this last MONTH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh one monthhhhhhhhh :( :( :( I'm sad. I need another Medalla. Goodnight.

Even after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe me."
Look what happens with
A love like that.
It lights the whole sky.
- Hafiz of Persia

26 April, 2011

Old San Juan and Adventures with KA

Hola! So, last weekend KA and I went to Old San Juan for a conference vacation to present our academic work drink ourselves silly. Everything was accomplished on all accounts, and none of the pictures below are from this weekend because, though I remembered my charger and extra battery, I forgot my camera. KA remembered her camera, but not her battery. Don't we just make the best team ever???

But seriously, though it *was* for a real actual "academic thing", it was mostly an excuse to spend a weekend in Old San Juan and pretend like we could still drink like it was our first year of graduate school or something (I was pleasantly surprised to learn that, really, we still can). I was all good stuff, but let me just skip to the REALLY good stuff, which was Saturday night. 

A little background before I begin this journey with you: KA and I both openly communicated to one another that we need to be on a budget this trip, as both of us have limited funds. Like actual limited funds and no backup funds, besides an uncashed check in my purse and an uncashed check of KA's in Aguadilla. In other words, our backup funds were 2 pieces of papers, one which was about 280 miles away. GREAT PLANNING, TEAM!

Saturday we finish the conference and go back to our hotel in Old San J. We find an excellent parking space, maybe 5 blocks from the hotel. We go up to the hotel room to pull ourselves together and sit in the room debating on taking a nap. We decide it's best, as always, to power through. We go downstairs and across the street to a chinchorro where we have our first chicharito and Medalla of the night, which was graciously paid for by a drunk gentleman standing next to us. 

With a little happy juice in the system and still on budget, we wandered down to Old San Juan Harbor---- the brewery. Yes indeed, there is another beer made in PR aside from Medalla.Old Harbor makes a stout, pale ale, and a pilsner. Also FUN FACT, the San J Harbor restaurant has TOWERS OF BEER FOR $20!!!!!!!! That's like 12-15 glasses of beer for $20! KA and I chose the stout, because it's stout and hey, we're on a budget over here! We had some ceviche and tostones and after our 3rd beers started planning this ridiculous writing project having to do with indulgence (Don't ask, but clearly it's a topic we know a *little bit* about...).After we finished the tower of stout and jotting down our "indulgence notes" on the back of some old receipts i fished out of my purse, we were off to our next stop -- wherever that may be. 

It ended up being at this place that sold canecas of chicharitos, which was something we were indeed interested in. As it turns out, 1/2 the popular of Old San Juan also were interested in this deal because there was a gazillion people swarming the counter for one. Oh, and when I got to the counter I realized you could pick a flavor. I chose guava, because why not? And then, just as I was almost to the counter a rather pushy gentleman asshole tried to elbow his way in front of me!!! Like, aggressive - style. I was shocked. Luckily, I am a lady and these hips don't lie - and also I come from a family of hockey players, so a little hip check to the boards was in order for this douchebag. He called me a bitch, but with a hint of awe in his voice, so I didn't take it personally. And then I got my caneca of guava flavored chicharito. And then we drank it all and left. Actually we drank 1/2 of it there, and then tried to leave with it but the security guard outside didn't like that plan. I was already outside, but KA was stranded in the doorway behind a large hairy security arm  holding the 1/2 of the goods. With a roll of the eyes and a cringe, KA threw the rest of the good stuff down the hatch and handed the empty bottle to Senor Security Guard. No drop left behind! 

We were feeling rather defeated at this point, i mean I get called a bitch and then KA gets heat from Senor Security Guard? sigh sigh sigh. How can we render this situation? What ever can we do to lift our spirits? Medalla usually works, so we try that at some old man bar. He has a table inside so we take a seat. I also get a water. And then another one. I've noticed lately that there is always one point in the night when hungover paranoia hits me and I down like 5 gallons of water because I just so do not want to deal with being hungover. And then 2 hours later, I had another one. Yes, we sat there for 2 hours drinking waters and Medallas.We were wastey wastoids by the juncture of the night, so a water and Medalla break was needed. We sat at the table and had several conversations about several different topics, mostly in the vein of "omg what will we do with our lives!?!"  It's a common topic. Sometimes don't you just feel like that David goes to the Dentist kid, except you're not hopped up on sweet knock you out drugs, but still you're like "wait. woah. seriously, is this real life? This is awesome! Wait, are these all my fingers? This is not awesome. Someone pinch me." And then you scream. And then you get sad. And then you get confused. And then you pass out. 

That was kinda like how that conversation was at the old man bar that night. 

AFTER THAT, we went to ANOTHER BAR. I don't know what time it was. Maybe 1, maybe 2? Anyway, It was the 2nd greatest bar I've ever been to in my life. It is called El Batey, and if you are ever in Old San J you MUST GO. Best jukebox ever ever ever ever everrrrrr. EVER! 

So we order our drinks. KA orders a Jameson on the rocks. A super practical drink to be ordering at 1-2 in the morning while "on a budget". It didn't matter, as it turns out, because we didn't really have a budget anymore, because all our money was gone. You can only have a budget when you have money to budget, you get me? The total is $7.25. I have $6 left to my name. KA has $0 left. Like I said: Best. Team. Ever. I tell her we HAVE TO find $1.25 more to give the bartender (you know, since we have already taken and started drinking our drinks and all...)  After rummaging through our purses we come up with $1.25 in change. I tell KA we need MORE to give him for a tip. KA whips a handful of change out of her purse and she puts it on the bar for a tip. BEST. PATRONS. EVER. It gets even better: I don't find this out until the next day, but what KA has given the bartender as a tip is a handful of CANADIAN MONEY. Recently obsessed with Canada, KA has been carrying around Canadian coins. Awesome. Just....awesome. All my friends are fucking bonkers and I just love that. 

A couple hours later (yes, a couple hours) I find $3 hidden in a pocket in my purse. We decide to spend $1 on the jukebox. A couple more hours later, we still haven't heard our songs, but maybe we have because it's so flipping packed in this place now that I can't hear a thing. We leave with or without without hearing our jukebox songs.

On the walk home, we spot a water vending machine outside of a church (no joke). We climb up the stairs to the church and part with our last $2 in return for two 2 ice cold waters from the machine. Best $2 I've ever spent. 
On the way back to the hotel, KA notices that there are quite a few parking spots open in the street, now that it's some ridiculous hour in the AM, so maybe it would be a good idea to just move her car up a couple blocks closer to the hotel! I raise my eyebrows and give her the "really?" look. She rolls her eyes and tells me to get in. 

After the car is moved and we've made it back to the hotel, we sit up drinking our water, eating granola bars that I stashed from the conference food table, and talking about shit that neither of us remembers the next day. Before we go to sleep, I text the HWY "goodnight". 

He is already awake for work and texts back "Don't you mean good morning?" 

No, I definitely do not.