13 August, 2007

Puerto Rican science

FACT: Puerto Ricans believe that honking your horn in traffic DEFINITELY makes the traffic move faster. Only fools think otherwise. The louder and the longer the honk, the faster everything clears up.

FACT: If you think it will take about an hour to get something done, times that by about 3 and that is when it will actually get done.
Ex. 1: I go to purchase a new cell phone today, estimating this event will take 30 - 60 minutes tops, including travel time and the possiblity of other customers. For theory purposes, we will average this estimated time to 45 minutes.
45minutes*3= 135 minutes, which is the approx. time it took me to get my cell phone (with no other customer distraction in the equation). As in, I was the only one there. Which turned out to be fine, because I am now wildly in love with the adorable Cingular guy. I mean, Jesus -- 135 minutes together?? That's practically a date.

Ex.2: My electricity. Last Monday, I went to the electric company to put down an "electric deposit" to get my electricity turned on in my new apartment. In my mind, this should take like 1 second. You pay them, they flip a switch and you have electricity. But I guess that would be a little too "simple" and "efficient". The guy tells me my electricity will be turned on FRIDAY (4 entire days after I put in my deposit). "Things could be worse", i think to myself, but start questioning this whole electricity thing when every Puerto Rican I tell this story about my electricity being turned on Friday to rolls their eyes and say something along the lines of, "If you are lucky". Fast forward to today, Monday, August 13 -- a full week (plus 2 hours) have passed since I paid them my electric deposit, and still, I have no goddamn electricity.
"1 week" for electrictiy to be turned on*3= 3 weeks (estimated real time I will expect electricity to be turned on).

The funniest and ironic part about this whole thing is that everyone drives like goddamn maniacs trying to be the first one to arrive somewhere. When, as I have scientifically proven above, it doesn't really matter....you'll still have to wait.

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