26 October, 2009
So, long time no chatter!
This past week has been intense. For one, The Highway's father died. This is something completely unrelated-able, as I can't even imagine one of my parents dying would be like. So, to cut out all the depressing parts, I'll just move along to what this whole thing and this whole week has made me realize.
What it did make me realize is that I live in Puerto Rico. I mean, I actually live here. I've been to birthday parties here, I've been to a wedding here, and now I've been to a funeral here. As it turns out, I was more than just "along for the ride", and I didn't end up banging out my Master's Degree in the 2 years I had originally planned. Instead, I created an actual life. And even though it might not last forever, I feel really good about the fact that there has at least been sustenance to it.
This fall hasn't been all party -party- party for me, and honestly it isn't because I haven't had the time or money (let's be real -- i've never had the money, and I've always made time!) It really has to do with the fact that my masters degree is coming to a close. There is an actual end/graduation day in sight. Before, I felt like I had all the time in the world. But now the reality is constantly creeping up on me, and that reality is that this is going to be over soon. And I need to find something else to do. I need to actually be thinking about the future, as opposed to having the freedom of not having to think about it because I knew every semester what I would be doing ---- going to colegio. Even if I don't graduate until next December, that doesn't change the fact that I need to be thinking about what I should do after that. I mean, this is puerto rico. i feel like I can extend this out as long as I want. But the point is, I know the end is near and that I need to make my next move. You can't really live as carefree when the future is right in front of you like a Mac truck. Well, you can....but that anxiety is still there. I want to try and change that.
I mean, now is the time i should be going balls to the wall! I have a year left --- probably less! I should be going all out. I have been going all out for like 2 years now...but I should continue. Definitely. There is no reason to stop just because of silly deadlines and expiration dates. Numbers! I've always hated them.
It's been a good rest, but my rest is OVER. True, living with someone makes things a little different. Let's be real: when you have someone to go home to, you want to go home. That's a fact. And so now that The Highway is at home all this week, I'm realizing that being in some sort of relationship makes me far less restless, and quite frankly that is a good thing for me. However, when my anchor isn't there to tie me down...I just like to float along.
As my sister Sarah wrote on the b-day card she sent me this week (quoting Joe Dirt--- seriously love that movie): "Life's a garden - dig it! You make it work for ya, you never give up. Ya gotta keep on keeping on - you know what i mean?"
VALID, Joe Dirt. Valid.