I was thinking today about how basically every woman I am friends with is in a relationship where she is, or has been, the main breadwinner. And in most cases I speak of, she is/was the only bread winner. A brief list: My 2 sisters, Chellber, Ang...my PR friends: KA, Z, Jennifer M, Nora...essentially, all my friends. I find this extremely fascinating. Mostly because I don't think this is some sort of fluke in ratios -- I think this is the way it works now.
We wanted women's lib, and holy shit, did we get it. Thanks a lot, hippies! ( i kid, I kid...) But seriously...I'm questioning "the movement" tonight (but then I watch an episode of Mad Men and stop questioning it immediately).
Anyway, tonight I was irritated because I found myself doing the dishes. I fucking hate dishes. I don't just hate doing them, I hate when they are there. Sitting there in the sink all dirty and un-clean like. I sat there for a few moments, debating on just leaving them. But as I stood staring at them, I was imagining the food crusting itself every second I was wasting just standing there. So instead of let myself spiral into insanity over some dirty dishes, I pick up the dish soap and sponge and have at it. Now, here comes the worst part --- the dialogue happening inside my head and I hovered over the sink fuming:
Me: "I hate dishes, I hate dishes, I hate dishes, I hate dishes..."
Invisible Creature on Right Shoulder: "But Jessica, he made dinner. Isn't that they way it works? Whoever doesn't make dinner does the dishes?"
Me: "True, Invisible Creature on Right Shoulder....very true....
Invisible Creature on Left Shoulder: But Jessica, he wasn't at work all day! Don't you think you deserve to relax when I come home???
Me: "You are damn right I do!"
Invisible Creature on Left Shoulder: "Exactly, you were at work all day while he was at home, and you think it's too much to ask that he does dishes? Who buys the food he makes dinner with?"
Me: "I DO! I buy the food in this house!!! I go to work all day so we can afford to live here!!! I shouldn't have to come home after a long day of work and worry about cleaning the house!
WOW. And then I had to stop, because I realized I had absorbed myself into some kind of fucked up Reverse-1950's mentality. I had slipped into the twisted ideology of the 1950's man who went to work in the morning and came home at 6pm expecting a drink and 3 course meal waiting (though personally I would prefer 3 drinks and a 1 course meal..but anyway). You know, except I am a woman. But the point is, I caught myself thinking such things as: "but I pay for it" and "but I was at work all day" to justify...well, my laziness, basically.
What does this mean? That the tables have officially turned, folks. Chivalry might not be dead, but odds are that the Knight on the White Horse just might be a woman.
We wanted women's lib, and holy shit, did we get it. Thanks a lot, hippies! ( i kid, I kid...) But seriously...I'm questioning "the movement" tonight (but then I watch an episode of Mad Men and stop questioning it immediately).
Anyway, tonight I was irritated because I found myself doing the dishes. I fucking hate dishes. I don't just hate doing them, I hate when they are there. Sitting there in the sink all dirty and un-clean like. I sat there for a few moments, debating on just leaving them. But as I stood staring at them, I was imagining the food crusting itself every second I was wasting just standing there. So instead of let myself spiral into insanity over some dirty dishes, I pick up the dish soap and sponge and have at it. Now, here comes the worst part --- the dialogue happening inside my head and I hovered over the sink fuming:
Me: "I hate dishes, I hate dishes, I hate dishes, I hate dishes..."
Invisible Creature on Right Shoulder: "But Jessica, he made dinner. Isn't that they way it works? Whoever doesn't make dinner does the dishes?"
Me: "True, Invisible Creature on Right Shoulder....very true....
Invisible Creature on Left Shoulder: But Jessica, he wasn't at work all day! Don't you think you deserve to relax when I come home???
Me: "You are damn right I do!"
Invisible Creature on Left Shoulder: "Exactly, you were at work all day while he was at home, and you think it's too much to ask that he does dishes? Who buys the food he makes dinner with?"
Me: "I DO! I buy the food in this house!!! I go to work all day so we can afford to live here!!! I shouldn't have to come home after a long day of work and worry about cleaning the house!
WOW. And then I had to stop, because I realized I had absorbed myself into some kind of fucked up Reverse-1950's mentality. I had slipped into the twisted ideology of the 1950's man who went to work in the morning and came home at 6pm expecting a drink and 3 course meal waiting (though personally I would prefer 3 drinks and a 1 course meal..but anyway). You know, except I am a woman. But the point is, I caught myself thinking such things as: "but I pay for it" and "but I was at work all day" to justify...well, my laziness, basically.
What does this mean? That the tables have officially turned, folks. Chivalry might not be dead, but odds are that the Knight on the White Horse just might be a woman.
3 comments:
WOW I would have never thought that you were doing exactly what our grandparents had done and might have still be doing at least in my family if they were still alive; thank God all mighty they paseed away and let my grandmothers live. Anywho if you hadnt made that analysis it would have never occured to me. Love the dialogue style BTW.
I absolutely love your blog, and i think i may be doing my grad work in PR as well. I think you've already told me, but what is the name of the school you go to?
Yay! I'm at UPR-Mayaguez
uprm.edu
uprm.edu/english (the (english ed program site)
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