09 October, 2008

Puertoricanocracy





So, as you may have heard, Puerto Rico's own Senor Daddy Yankee will be moderating the governor of the Island debates tonight. What qualifies a reggaeton star as someone who should be moderating debates that will shape the next 4 years for millions of peoples? Well, I think Jaybo said it best when he noted the line between reggaeton and politics in PRico is a very fine nonexistant one. Americans have Bruce Springstein; PRicans have Dad-dy Yank-eeeee! The American Dream; The Puerto Rican Dream.

It's just all to ridiculous to fathom, really. So ridiculous, in fact, that I feel like it should be happening in a movie, not real life. Perhaps something that could happen in an actual movie that has already been made, and ends in -ocracy, starring Luke Wilson... Imdb it.

Moving along....

Tuesday was Zaira's bday (the bitch is only 23), so festivities took place. On Monday night, we kicked off another year under her belt by going out to dinner: Me, KA, and Z. Then, I had class until 9:30. However, Chabey is in that class with me, so we devised a plan for later. At the stroke of 9:30, we were mobile and heading to meet KA and Z at Sand's.

Now, if you have been with me for a year, you will recognize this bar as my last year favorite, until the bartender moved away, new management took over, and it turned into a 24/7 reggaeton fest that can be heard for miles. Well, maybe not miles, but it's fucking loud in there. I'm going to go ahead right now and save any "if it's too loud, you're too old" comments that might be made in haste: I beg you to remember what reggaeton sounds like. It is possible that you have had the fortune of avoiding it if you've never lived in Puerto Rico. In which case, I would like to say F U, you lucky bastard. You know that joke that goes something like "hell is listening to the same song on repeat for eternity"? That same idea = reggaeton.

Anyhooooo....

So we arrive at Sand's, where it was $2.5o Medalla night. Grrrr. We left for La Calle, and I had the bestest idea ever to stop at this old man bar to have a drink. Old Man Bar is the BEST place to get drunk fast. Shots are like 71 cents or something, beer $1....rum and coke 1.25....it really doesn't get any better. And the sweetest old man is ALWAYS working. We get a round of shots and a beer. It is nearly 10, and Old Man Bar closes at 10 because Old Man needs to go to sleep. ( I just had the best idea ever: to write a story called 'The Old Man and the Bar" HA! ) Well, we got a Medalla, and as we were pondering our next move, this guy who I see everywhere but whose name I can never remember tipped us off that there were $1 Medalla's across the street. Check, please! Goodnight, Old Man.

We go up the street to The House. I know, it's like the lamest name ever. But, I do not discriminate when it comes to cheap booze. Also, they were playing the Red Sox game on T.V., so this was a suitable location on all fronts. We stayed there most of the night drinking and being drunks, and then at 2 AM we went to La Biblio, which is the after bar place where I have spent many a mornings. It's open until like 6AM. Thankfully, we left at about 3AM. I spent the night at KA's, because the next morning we were to go to....the beach! Zaira's request, and you have to do whatever the bday person wants to do. It's like a rule.

In the morning, Z meets us at KA's and we go to Chabey's to try and wake up her. No go. We leave her behind. When we get to Rincon, we pass this little cove beach place and decide to check it out. UM GORGEOUS! Seriously like the most perfect 3 hours ever. We set up camp under some palms in the shade, and we smoke some of Puerto Rico's finest and go snorkeling and lounge about in the sun and chatter. There are also some pretty hilarious pictures that were taken involving trying to put on sunscreen when you are high as fuck. Jejejejeje....good times, good times. At 2 we had to head back to Maya, because responsibility never ceases to beckon, even in the most wonderful of times.

Stupid responsibility.



P.S. I"M GOING TO VISIT JAYBO AND LAYBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Zaira said...

In regards to the Daddy Yankee Monstrosity,

Sadly but true Pr is still a place where a candidate can go to election without a platform because most people wont even bother reading. Lots of people still vote for colors or symbols, which were devised several decades ago so that illiterate people could manage voting.

When I first heard the rumors that that DY was going to be the moderating the political debate for our future governor, I guess I lost all my hopes that some changes could take place in the Island. The need to recur to underground to get the citizens of a country to listen sends a very sad message about the intellectual capacities of its people.

I mean COME ON what makes DY a suitable candidate for this condition. What skills does he have that will contribute to what the candidates will say that night? I dont think having held a microphone before put you a a desired candidate to a position that requires the ability to encourage dialogue and argumentation.

In sum, every four years I am dissapointed at my country and my people for not being able to make an individual and informed decision towards the future of the Island.

PS I will respond later to MY bday narrative

Rebekah said...

He's Daddy Yankee, though.

I think it's PERFECTLY logical that producing a Class A ass-shaking jam with some pretty sick beats would totally qualify you to be a moderator for something that will have a huge effect on so many people. I mean, doesn't his music effect us all on a daily basis already? Just keep that rolling, you know?

Also, he CLEARLY knows a thing or two about politics--as is evidenced by his statement that he would vote for McCain in the US election because McCain apparently supports Latinos and immigration. Uh, yeah, Daddy Yankee--so that he can have more maids and cooks...

Having DY moderate is a big 'ol joke. But then, that's how we do stuff here (following the political opinions of celebrities, often more rigerously than we do the political opionions of POLITICIANS), so here's to the Pot calling the Kettle a joke.