20 February, 2008

Tastes Like Chicken: A Palette Expansion, Part Deux

Towards the end of middle school, anorexia became my daily bread and I didn’t even consider toast with honey acceptable caloric intake, therefore I skipped breakfast and lunch. To be honest, I wish I had that kind of discipline still.
But anyway, at this particular juncture in my life, I was under the impression that rice was healthiest thing I could possibly consume, so every night for dinner I would make myself rice and top it off with soy sauce (still very anti-butter). Was this healthy? No, no it was not. Not in the slightest. Why didn’t my parents stop me, you ask? Well, really, what choice did they have? I mean, I didn’t even like the way the made toast, for christsake. Plus, with my steady diet of rice and soy sauce, I was not an expensive child to feed. (If only I had the same discipline now that I am responsible for purchasing my own rations! Damn!) Sometimes when my sweet tooth hit, I would make myself a snack: Rice Krispies and marshmallows micro- waved together (like a rice krispie bar, minus all the awful grease calories of butter, you see.) A little bit of brilliant, I know. Don’t ask me how exactly how long I survived on rice and nothing, but I have a feeling if I had documented the time span, Gandhi and I probably could have shared some stories.

My freshman year of college I lost 15 lbs. out of sheer slothfulness. I was literally too lazy to walk to the cafeteria. Sometimes I would stop in for a bite on my way back to my bed from a class. If I had gotten more than 4 hours of sleep the night before, this *usually* meant I had the capable motor skills to allow myself to be seen in a public space and to communicate my needs effectively to one of the cooks. If mobile skills were in tact but communication skills were not, I would just by- pass the human workers and make myself a piece of toast. And when I did make the trek of 100 yards from my dorm room to the cafeteria, I would steal bags of Saltines so I wouldn’t have to walk all the way back for dinner. To this day, it was the most effective diet I’ve ever been on.


Andy said...

Glad you liked the drunk dial. That was th Huff livingroom. Carol came up and made us tons of food. Also, glad you like the music. I send you a couple more bands to try out. Band of Horses is pretty cool too. BTW try toast with nutella

Rebekah said...

Wow. That's a lot of discipline for such a young age. I am impressed. Except, I would have had that dry toast for breakfast, so your metabolism is jump-started. :) Ineffective anorexic.