I actually lived 5 days with $0, 0 cents; still alive to tell you about it.

I’ve been broke before, but I’ve always had the cushion of parents/credit cards to ensure I remained a consumer in this world, every day of my life.

When I came to PR I ditched my credit card, because let’s face, I wouldn’t be making enough money here chip away at monthly payments anyway. I decided that, yes, it would be wise to keep my bank card from the US if the situation ever arose I needed parental funds to back me up – they could just deposit some money in my account. Perfect plan, no?

Perfect until I LOST MY CARD.

Thursday, October 18th. I go to a bar to watch the Red Sox v. Cleveland with Laybo, Jaybo, Karrieann, Jason. A very strange but eccentric German professor joined us later. As we are leaving, I realize “Oh my god! I’ve forgotten my ATM card! Opps”. So run back to get it (and then presumably proceeded to lose it immediately). Oooohhh the irony!!! I just can’t bear it.

Perhaps I left it in Karrieann’s car? I thought. Nope.
Maybe J and L’s car? Negative.
Possibly at the bar? Nothing.
Lost it in my apartment? Umm…no.

Lost forever. RIP, cute Japanese wallet with cute animals on it that Emily gave me for Christmas last year. R.I.P.


How was it, you ask? Shitty. Really shitty. I couldn’t do much of anything to be honest. And when will I be getting my card back, you ask? Umm…sometimes between “never” and “when hell freezes over”. I called US Bank, which I am really fucking pissed at because this is the SECOND time they have screwed me since I’ve been in PR (first time when I “withdrew” $400 and it never came out of the ATM, but they still deducted that, and have still not resolved the issue, might I add…). FIRST when I call, this b*tch tells me I need to change me address because I have moved. Fine. I change it. THEN, she tells me SINCE I have now changed my address (which she made me do), she cannot mail me a new card, I will have to go to a bank branch NONE OF WHICH THEY HAVE IN PUERTO RICO, and get one. Thanks, Us Bank customer service lady. Thanks for ruining my life. What a service you offer. How helpful you are.

So today, October 23, marks the 5th day, the 120th hour I have lived with NO MONEY. Nothing. Not like, I had 50 cents or a couple dollars. NADA. No dinero. one. Zero.

It was depressing, but mostly because it made me realize how much I SPEND. Umm… A LOT, on random, random things. Copies, snacks from the vending machine, $1 beers, etc etc etc…It’s not cool. And I always thought I was thrifty, too. Not so much, it turns out.

Well, on another note, my birthday is on Friday --I'll be a quarter lifer -- but thankfully I think i've already gotten my quarter life crisis out of the way. A couple of times, come to think of it...
So. Cash donations: c/o Jessica Lauer, Escorial 2 - Ensanche Martinez #502, Calle Las Flores, Mayaguez PR 00680.

Thank you and goodnight.