14 April, 2011


On Monday, I handed in my thesis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it was probably the most anti-climatic moment of my life.

I gave it to the lady and she was like, "ok" and I was like "...ok..." Confusion.

What I really wanted to say was "Where is the confetti, woman???? Where are the dancing bears with my congratulations cake???"  But alas, I didn't. I just asked her "Really? I don't need to do anything else?", which translates into "THIS IS IT?!?!??!?!?????????????? This is the climax?? " .I wonder if the graduate studies secretaries realize that probably every student who ever hands them a hard copy of their thesis is kinda waiting for something more than "ok". But then again, why the fuck should they care? Congratulations, bitch, you sat on your ass writing some shit that no one will ever read. Kind of keeps you grounded to realize even though you accomplished one of the largest feats in your life, no one really gives a flying fuck.

Anyhoo. Let me start with Part I :  Lost in Translation

Last Friday: I was kinda basically sorta done with my thesis (or so I thought) , minus some small bibliography citations, and I was ready to hand this shit it. Friday in the AM I was on barista duty, but in the afternoon I went home finished the bib and printed my thesis. I made sure I had an electronic copy also, and a receipt for my graduation payment (both which I later learned were completely unnecessary). I had covered all possible angles (or so I thought).

I arrive at the graduate studies office kinda sorta in a panic, because it was 3:30pm already, and I didn't know what time they closed (3? 3:30? 4? 4:30?). Also, i was kinda sorta in a panic because I just wanted this shit to be over with. Please take the thesis. Please. The girl at the desk DID take it! Yay! But, not before the director of grad studies came out and flipped through it, and noticed a little something: "You don't have your resumen?", he asked. "My resume? No! Why would I attach my resume???" I had read nothing of bringing a copy of my resume! "Yes", he tells me, "You need your resumen in English and Spanish." 

CONFUSION!!!!!!! oh, and DEFEAT!!!

I am sad and maybe sorta shed a few tears on the drive home. I mean, why in the HELL would i need to attach my resume??? In Spanish AND English?? I had read nothing about bringing a copy of my resume, no one had told me I needed a copy of my resume.

I arrive home and pull up my CV on the computer. I start translating it into Spanish. It's 4 pages long, 11pt font, so this kinda sort took a long time for me to do. When the HWY gets home, I have him proof read it, which kinda sort took a long time for him too since I had translated it so shittily. Then, when he is done, I EMAIL IT TO ANOTHER P-RICAN FRIEND, so she can proof read it.

Before, I go to bed, I ask the HWY to please read with me the requirements for submission of your thesis, just to make sure I have not forgotten anything this time.  We get to a bullet point which says: "Un resumen (español) y un abstract (inglés)". He tells me: you need an abstract in both English and Spanish.


But, but...resumen...resumen...means...resume....resumen....is...resume...!....?.....??????

NO. Resumen means "resume" means summary AKA abstract.

WHOOPS! Defeated by a simple false cognate.

Now, for Part 2, which will be much shorter:

So, after THAT was cleared up and one anxiety attack and mental breakdown later, I just had to do an abstract in Spanish. Meh. And then, on Monday, the FINAL DAY to submit your thesis and apply for the oral defense, I turned it in!!!!!!!! I immediately left school, and immediately began to celebrate.

I mean, grab a 6 - pack and head to the beach where you backfloat topless (and that was only after 1 beer!!) wondering why life can suck so BAD one day, and then be so totally awesome the next CELEBRATE. It was some of my best hours EVER in life. Do you know how RELAXING it is to float in the ocean? Ah. Mah. Gawd. So relaxing. The Medalla helped, too. Then I went home and took a nap. Then KA came over and we went out with the Hwy and others to celebrate and I was incredibly hungover on Tuesday, but didn't really mind because I didn't have the guilt of working on my thesis hanging over my head anymore, so I just let myself be a lazy hungover sloth. Sometimes you gotta!


Bex said...

Yup. You DEFINITELY deserve a day to be a hungover sloth. 4 years in the making?? You get that day. Now, come home and hang out! :D

Courtney said...

Where do you go to graduate school?!? I want to go to grad school in the Caribbean but I want to make sure it is a real, accredited school lol

pseudoboricua said...

The University of Puerto Rico - Mayaguez. it's real :)


Microsoft Visio Professional 2010 said...

I want to go to grad school in the Caribbean but I want to make sure it is a real.

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