No Words.

Today was the first day I was not hungover since Superbowl Sunday. Not only do I feel amazing today, but I have also renewed my vows to never drink in excess ever again because dammit if hangovers aren't the WORST. THING. EVER. My question in the morning is always the same: "Why didn't you drink more water, you dumbass?" (Note it has nothing to do with the abundance of alcohol i DID drink...Heavens no. Water was clearly at fault here for not being hydrating enough...Idiot.).

So anyhoo. Being in a hungover state for roughly 70% of the week did not stop me from enjoying a few things --- namely, PARASAILING! For FREE!!!! Just kidding! It cost me a wink and a smile ;)  JAJAJAJA. But, seriously, it did. I just love being a woman sometimes. I did however want vom all over the Caribbean on the boat ride back. Boat rides + Hangovers = Super Nausea. Noted. Lesson learned! For the third time....

24 Hours of Heaving for Entirely Different Reasons

Hovered over a public toilet dry heaving only moments before you are about to teach a class is no way to start the day. But, alas. That is just how it began today, and it was a position I haven't found myself in in quite some time. The more horrible part is that I have been uber-hungover many times at school, and many times much, much worse than today. But it's been so long since I have been (um...2 months...), my tolerance for alcohol and hangover has plummeted, and my body has completely forgotten the interpretive dance known as A Hangover. Thus, it resorts back to what it did at the beginning of my career with alcohol, and that is LOTS of dry heaving.

Good times.

SO, yesterday, before all this hangover business or the drinking that lead to it happened, my friend Nora told me about these fitness classes they give in the stadium in Rincon for $1. I've been looking for some sort of activity that would allow me to mingle amongst the citizens of my new community, and this seems like just the ticket. A $1 ticket.

FIRST, we arrive late and as I am putting down my mat, I look up and notice the instructor dude is a bartender at one of the resorts in Rincon. GO FIGURE. I don't know why this was shocking to me, but it was. Perhaps he doesn't remember me or any of my drunken escapes he has had the misfortune of witnessing, I think to myself. No such luck. He grins and knee-bend- kicks on over to let me know, and I quote, " Now I'm going to make you sweat out everything you drank, and you'll remember me tomorrow". Ummmm, YIKES! I look up from my mat in fear and he takes the dollar from my trembling hand.

UNO! DOS! TRES! AGAIN! is what I hear Mr. Muscle screaming over the Special Edition Ricky Martin Jock Jams CD blasting in the background. Aerobics in Puerto Rico is something else. It was part aerobics and part 80's dance moves, except with more hip action. A Puerto Rican variation of both the running man and the Super Bowl Shuffle were some memorable ones that took place. About 10 minutes in, I'm sweating balls and by the end of the hour the only way I can gather the strength to do one more leg kick is if it was into Mr. Muscle's face.

In conclusion, I CERTAINLY got my dollars worth. And on my drive into school today I saw Mr. Muscle biking down the road, and as I cruised on past I honked my horn and threw out my hand to wave --- just so he knew I remembered him :)

Pour Me Something Tall and Strong.

I almost just went downstairs now to get a Coca Cola - AKA sweet nectar of the Hangover Gods -- and, because the elevator wasn't working, I aborted mission. Stairs and any another attempts of mobility are off limits this morning -- wait --- afternoon. Excuse me. *sigh*

What was supposed to be a quiet Friday "night in" per my usual Movie and New Pizza Creation Friday routine, turned terribly wrong last night, but in quite a few awesome ways. I definitely woke up still drunk, thoughts not entirely in tact, and still in my clothes-- that may have been because I had no water yesterday, but then again I don't think I had the motivation to actually check for water when I got home at 7a.m. :( Eeks.

I played about 8 million games of dominos, had somewhere between 10 and 100 beers, and probably uttered about a gazillion drunken words. Double Eeks. :(

I am such an idiot on so many levels I can't even stand it. If I tell myself I'm going to do one thing, it guarantees I will go and do the opposite. Example: "I will not get drunk tonight"/ "I will not love someone who is completely and totally unavailable"/ "I will not kiss people I am not supposed to love and who are completely and totally unavailable". Check, check, and check. ARGH. I am a failure at life and at love (Well, okay, maybe not life -- i'm actually kinda awesome at it. )