Defeat.

I met with my adviser on Monday and she gently informed me that, while if I wanted to graduated in December/Jan. I could...but that maybe it would be easier for me to wait until the Spring. I agreed.

DEFEAT. DEFEATED. Tanto nadar para morir en la orilla. Fuck.

She brought up some good points: Did I have something planned for Jan. that I absolutely needed to be graduated for? (no...) Have I thought seriously (and not just have pipe dreams) about what I might want to really do after I graduate? (negative...) Maybe by waiting to graduate, i could allow myself the month of November to prepared and submit applications to "certain things" that have applications due in December (good idea...) Aside from actually graduating and getting the H out of dodge, what was my hurry? (nothing.)

Despite all these good reasons, I still feel defeated.