FINALLY!!!!!!

On Monday, I handed in my thesis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it was probably the most anti-climatic moment of my life.

I gave it to the lady and she was like, "ok" and I was like "...ok..." Confusion.

What I really wanted to say was "Where is the confetti, woman???? Where are the dancing bears with my congratulations cake???"  But alas, I didn't. I just asked her "Really? I don't need to do anything else?", which translates into "THIS IS IT?!?!??!?!?????????????? This is the climax?? " .I wonder if the graduate studies secretaries realize that probably every student who ever hands them a hard copy of their thesis is kinda waiting for something more than "ok". But then again, why the fuck should they care? Congratulations, bitch, you sat on your ass writing some shit that no one will ever read. Kind of keeps you grounded to realize even though you accomplished one of the largest feats in your life, no one really gives a flying fuck.

Anyhoo. Let me start with Part I :  Lost in Translation

Last Friday: I was kinda basically sorta done with my thesis (or so I thought) , minus some small bibliography citations, and I was ready to hand this shit it. Friday in the AM I was on barista duty, but in the afternoon I went home finished the bib and printed my thesis. I made sure I had an electronic copy also, and a receipt for my graduation payment (both which I later learned were completely unnecessary). I had covered all possible angles (or so I thought).

I arrive at the graduate studies office kinda sorta in a panic, because it was 3:30pm already, and I didn't know what time they closed (3? 3:30? 4? 4:30?). Also, i was kinda sorta in a panic because I just wanted this shit to be over with. Please take the thesis. Please. The girl at the desk DID take it! Yay! But, not before the director of grad studies came out and flipped through it, and noticed a little something: "You don't have your resumen?", he asked. "My resume? No! Why would I attach my resume???" I had read nothing of bringing a copy of my resume! "Yes", he tells me, "You need your resumen in English and Spanish." 

CONFUSION!!!!!!! oh, and DEFEAT!!!

I am sad and maybe sorta shed a few tears on the drive home. I mean, why in the HELL would i need to attach my resume??? In Spanish AND English?? I had read nothing about bringing a copy of my resume, no one had told me I needed a copy of my resume.

I arrive home and pull up my CV on the computer. I start translating it into Spanish. It's 4 pages long, 11pt font, so this kinda sort took a long time for me to do. When the HWY gets home, I have him proof read it, which kinda sort took a long time for him too since I had translated it so shittily. Then, when he is done, I EMAIL IT TO ANOTHER P-RICAN FRIEND, so she can proof read it.

Before, I go to bed, I ask the HWY to please read with me the requirements for submission of your thesis, just to make sure I have not forgotten anything this time.  We get to a bullet point which says: "Un resumen (español) y un abstract (inglés)". He tells me: you need an abstract in both English and Spanish.

CONFUSION!!!

But, but...resumen...resumen...means...resume....resumen....is...resume...!....?.....??????

NO. Resumen means "resume" means summary AKA abstract.

WHOOPS! Defeated by a simple false cognate.

Now, for Part 2, which will be much shorter:

So, after THAT was cleared up and one anxiety attack and mental breakdown later, I just had to do an abstract in Spanish. Meh. And then, on Monday, the FINAL DAY to submit your thesis and apply for the oral defense, I turned it in!!!!!!!! I immediately left school, and immediately began to celebrate.

I mean, grab a 6 - pack and head to the beach where you backfloat topless (and that was only after 1 beer!!) wondering why life can suck so BAD one day, and then be so totally awesome the next CELEBRATE. It was some of my best hours EVER in life. Do you know how RELAXING it is to float in the ocean? Ah. Mah. Gawd. So relaxing. The Medalla helped, too. Then I went home and took a nap. Then KA came over and we went out with the Hwy and others to celebrate and I was incredibly hungover on Tuesday, but didn't really mind because I didn't have the guilt of working on my thesis hanging over my head anymore, so I just let myself be a lazy hungover sloth. Sometimes you gotta!

Wishes

ACK! This week it's Weekly Wishes. Go with it.

This week: SO so so so so fucking sick (actually. flu? allergies? anxiety induced ulcer?), and also sick of writing my thesis. By a stroke of luck, I didn't have to work at the bar tonight, and so I have spent it finishing the last chapter of my thesis catching up on T.V. Meh.

Hating toward my thesis this week has made me reflective of all the awesome careers I *should have* pursued. Here's what I have so far:

Careers in my next life

•  A section string player in a philharmonic orchestra
• oceanographer
• archeologist
• anthropologist
• professional scam artist who has a perfect record, is filthy rich and never gets arrested or goes to jail EVER. 
• The female Ironman. Ironwoman. 
• Giselle Bundchen
• Queen of the Universe

Yay! I will be wishing on star tonight for the possibility of any of these happening.

Double Edge Sword

Whenever I get mad at my thesis and that it won't finish itself already, I think to myself: Dude, you get to write your thesis on a tropical island. Could this situation BE any better???  Pull yourself together, you lucky bitch!

...And then I suddenly really want to go the beach. :( 

A Sign, I Think.

I saw Mike D from the Beastie Boys at the bar last night! And The Highway served him a soy macchiato at the coffee shop! Which makes Mike D. awesome (a macchiato is my personal fave as well) and also a bastard (it's nearly impossible to steam soy milk suitable for latte art when it is in a tiny, tiny demitasse cup).

Since about the 10th grade, The Beastie Boys have signified summer for me (I don't know why. But I'm sure it involves driving around. You know, since driving around aimlessly comprises about 90% of my high school memories). Now that I'm older, (wiser?), and kinda think driving is annoying, they are my go-to BBQ music.The three (four?) B's: Beer, BBQ, Beastie Boys.

And so my time in Puerto Rico is complete.(I just wish Mike D. would have filled me in on the Master Plan :( ...)

A Legit Questions

Why is it that in every movie or T.V. show, during the school week,  the teenage characters in the show are always , like, AWAKE and having breakfast at the table with their parents??? Seriously! What's up with that? What teenage kid wakes up early enough 1.) to EAT breakfast, period. 2.) sit DOWN at the table, with like other people, and eat breakfast. 3.) Converse with those people. 4.) Without ever drinking a cup of coffee.

It makes no sense. Every person I knew in high school was chowing Pop Tarts in first period, which is why Can't Hardly Wait the most realistic teenage high-jinx movie ever made.

Just sayin'.

Weekly G's

• Amazon.com. For reals! It has helped me organize and keep a list of things I need to read (even if I don't get them from Amazon) because if I am reading one thing and it references another work, I just go to Amazon and find the book and add it to my "Wishlist" --  all in like 5 seconds! And then I go back later when I am reading and look at all the books I saved and then try and find them for cheaper (or for borrowed or free). It has also been helpful because of that little "you may also be interested in..." part where they list a bunch of other books similar to the one you are viewing. I HAVE been interested, many a times, Amazon. So thank you, for your clever (but helpful, when you are for example trying to find similar theorists or work to something you are already citing) marketing strategies.

• Coffee in the morning. Green tea in the afternoon. Wine in the evening.

• The glorious feeling of finishing something before a self-administered deadline (I finished revising a draft today). Usually when I give myself a "deadline", I end up extending it. You know, because it's not a "real" deadline. Well, this week things just got REAL folks. I needs to finish the motherfuckin' thesis before April 11th!!!!!! Not ONLY finish it, but have it revised and formatted into its COMPLETE form,  and have ALL committee signatures signed off on it. Before April 11th.  Ze pressure es ON.

• So, there's a new bar attached to the bakery up the street from me that hasn't *officially* opened yet. Who opens a bar attached to a bakery, you ask? Only. In. Puerto. Rico. Whoever decorated it is awesome, and apparently there is an Ikea somewhere it Puerto Rico that I don't know about because shit looks like it came straight out of an Ikea ad. I'm cool with that. Modern. Spacious. Simple. Just the BESTEST of BEST environment for me to work in (completely alone w/o Internet distraction), especially since they bakery people let me go in there at 8 in the morning to write. YAY bakery people! Thanks for trusting a girl to hang in there alone among so much unaccounted for booze.

•  Breaking Bad. GREATEST SHOW EVER! (Besides HIMYM, of course). I'm talking tonight off and starting Season 3 tonight, you know since I accomplished my deadline and all :)

My quote this week isn't very uplifting, but holy shit if it isn't BRILLIANT. Also, it reminds me of the world today, like TODAY. Iraq. Afgahnistan. Libya. UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Please everyone let's get over ourselves and stop now, please. Please.

All throwing shapes, every one of them
Convinced he’s in the right, all of them glad
To repeat themselves and their every last mistake,
No matter what.

People so deep into
Their own self-pity, self-pity buoys them up.
People so staunch and true, they’re fixated,
Shining with self-regard like polished stones.
And their whole life spent admiring themselves
For their own long-suffering.

-Seamus Heaney, The Cure at Troy

Home Stretch

Yes, this is happening.

I have until April 11th to submit my FINAL THESIS DRAFT. No blood, sweat, and (many) tears included. 

Quick, someone encourage me! (Bex, you are the only one who comments on this --- give me somethin'!)